March ramblings from The Boy Tom

Well how are yu all a’gettin on t’gether?

Old Muther Nature can’t seem t’meak har mind up wether she want that t’be Winter or Spring at the moment. One day thas suffin hot und the next thas two coats colder. The trouble that hev upset everything else. My old hins don’t know if they are suppose t’be a layin or havin a moult. I hev got snowdrops und Lam’s tails (Katkins) out but them old daffodills are up but arn’t a goin t’open.
I recon thas to early t’start a gettin about on the garden, thas just as well cos I ha bin und injured m’self. I come home tuther arter I hev bin t’a meetin und the Missus und I drawed up t’bed at our usual time. Well Bor I wuk up around three in the morning und my old right arm und shoulder suffin acked. That were as if I hed bin kicked by an old hoss. I lay there a’tryin t’get back t’sleep but how-ever I lay my old arm kept a’ackin. When I got up I had a rare job t’git me shirt und braces on , the Missus she ha’a help me. I rung the old doctor up und went t’see him durin the arternoon. He pulled me about, that din’t half hurt, he recon I hev torn my bicep muscle. He gi me sum cream t’rub on und recon I orta lay a bag o’frozen peas on m’shoulder four times a’day. The other thing was he recon I hev got t’rest m’arm until that mend. The trouble is he recon that could teake sum time. He recon I mussunt lift anything heavy for a while. I asked him what he meant by heavy cos I don’t think things are heavy until thas past 25kg (56lbs) He din’t say anything…… he just gi mi a look like my Missus du sometimes.
Thas a good job I’m left handed, one good thing the Missus ha stopped askin me to du little jobs for har: The trouble is I know thell be a gret old list o’jobs once I’m back in full harness again. Until then thas supprising what yu can do wi one hand when yu ha to!!!!! The trouble is I don’t know how I dun it. I’ll tell yu suffin I hope that don’t happen again.

Cos that old bird flu is about agin. I keep my old hins shut in all the time. They hev an outside run but thas covered over. That aint s’good for these here Farmers who meak a livin outa selling free range eggs. They recon if they keep them old hins shut inside to long they can’t call them free range eggs anymore. They ha’a call them Barn Eggs und then they don’t get paid s’much for um.

Yu know that footpath them up at County Hall put in last summer for the children on the Norridge Rood estates t’use t’get t’the Village School when they took the school bus away. Well I recon there arn’t any on um usin it now. I recon they must be a gettin down the school by motor or they hev changed to one o’the Watton Schools cos they can get there by bus. That were £60,000 they could hev used for suffin else.

Well them boys up at Carra Rood arn’t a goin very well at the moment are they? Less hope they start a’playin better soon cos if they don’t them Tractor Boys from down the road will be a’over takin them. I don’t want that t’happen cos I like it better when my Brother don’t keep on about how them Tractor Boys are better than them Canaries cos that gi me a scull eak.

They recon we are a goin t’hev a Village Festival at the end o’June. That’ll be an all week-end du a’startin on the Friday night. There are folk a’plannin for it so less hope we hev a good du. I know they are a’tryin t’git sum money t’gether t’tidy up the kitchen und toilets at the village hall. I remember a’lendin a hand t’put them in ni on forty year ago so thas time they were changed.

I hed better close know und go und put another bag o’frozen peas on m’shoulder.

Fare ye well t’gether und du yu keep a’troshin.

The Boy Tom

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